(:

2009-09-17T15:50:00.002+01:00

okay, i know- lack of posts.

but living without internet makes things pretty hard.
i steal sarinah/adam's laptops whenever i can
and check emails but that's about it,
and the great thing is facebook is no longer an addiction!

whee.

i'm going to visit cas this weekend-
SUPER excited, it's going to be crazy
because we've talked about this for so long
and i'm taking a 7 hour journey (rail and sail)
to get there which is pretty exciting,
and i never thought it was long until my dad
told me it was halfway to malaysia- which is sadly true.

but i just can't abide flying at the moment,
i need a break from flying so much!
):

2009-09-02T07:44:00.003+01:00

okay.

i super need an update.

and since my laptop STILL isnt connecting to
the Internet, i've had to borrow adam/sarinah's
just for important emails and stuff.

and i'm not really planning to fix it though,
i realised i've been spending waaaay too much time
doing nothing on the Internet and i'm not
going to do that this year!

i started 3rd year yesterday.

big step huh- i feel like i just left!
and it's only been two weeks and Nepal
already seems like a lifetime away ):

i'm so excited about this new year though,
it's going to be so busy with everything i want to do,
and i have a feeling that this year's going to be
totally different and i really want to somehow
make a different this year and not waste it.

and cas is coming too!
which i'm excited about- really hoping
to fly down next week sometime,
it's just really nice knowing that she's so much nearer.

so that's about it for now-
i have to get changed for class!

2009-08-25T19:33:00.000+01:00

sigh.

i have no internet and since my laptop
is so crap im thinking of buying a new one
but i have absolutely no extra money
and i'm finding a job but it's so difficult!

sigh ):

my friends are awesome though.

came back on fri and spent the whole weekend
up in the north coast near the beach
just relaxing and lots of NI sightseeing!

and now im back in belfast being
cooked a steak dinner by natalie-
im loving being back (:

money troubles- sigh.

on the upside, cas is coming soon
and im prolly flying over to see her yay!

2009-08-22T10:56:00.002+01:00

im back.

after a horrific flight involving terrible
food i ate the day before- it was not good.
recuperated in London
(thank God for great public toilets!)
and was back in Belfast yday and already
had a get together so i got to see everyone
once i came back!! (:

so yes- i'm spending this weekend with the housemates
and finally getting a summer holiday!
(:

photos and updates soon.

2009-08-18T14:11:00.002+01:00

my last day in Nepal!

it was really quite sad today,

i got a LOT of cards and they were very sweet.

im really going to miss nepal but

im super looking forward to flying back also!

and the bad thing is,

i feel absolutely horrible now-

i think i'm having a fever/the start of stomach upsets or something-

very bad timing ):

pray!

2009-08-16T11:01:00.002+01:00

this morning, i checked my fb account

and i got tagged in an AWESOME photo!

which is 15 years old ):

guess which one i am!

(yes, i was the tallest even then)

and loads of people were tagged and

everyone seems to remember one another

but i have no recollection of kindergarten at all!

and boy, do my classmates have awesome memories,

cause one remembers having a crush on me

and i apparently kissed another.

and i've always thought i was a really

goodytwoshoes kinda girl when i was younger!

my love life has really gone downhill huh.

2009-08-15T16:23:00.002+01:00

i am having a terrible time deciding

which of my stuff to keep and which to give away.

i keep looking at these clothes that i will probably

never wear again and a small voice keeps going

'but- i might want to wear that someday

when the sun finally comes out in belfast!'

did my last sightseeing thing today at Bhaktapur,

this ancient city where people still live in

houses built hundreds of years ago

(it's a UNESCO heritage site)

and it was really like stepping into a different world,

cause saturday is their washing day (as in clothes AND body)

so everyone was out doing things the old fashioned way

in their really old beautiful houses,

it really felt like i stepped back in time!

the only terrible thing was that on the way back

it started raining crazily and the road back home

is basically a two-way mud path,

it was like driving in a mud pit!

(not that i know how that actually feels like)

almost got knocked over by a bus,

and i had a terribly awkward conversation

with this slimy Nepali guy- they are awfully staightforward!

that's one thing i won't be missing

(the men here striking up a conversation-

i get too distrustful and give monosyllabic answers)

plus the stares ):

i really hate the stares.

when i wear my normal western clothes

and get on a bus- everyone turns around and

proceeds to spend their whole journey looking

at me- and not with a nice expression,

i feel like the monkey at the zoo all the time.

and the worst thing is when i finally get to

blend in wearing my kurtasuruwal and

i have to open my mouth to talk to the bus conductor-

then my disguise shatters and the stares are worse than ever!

my last Sunday tomorrow!

2009-08-14T16:25:00.002+01:00

man this is depressing.

im writing notes to my older classes-

you know, as a goodbye gift kinda thing

and i've been reflecting over the past two months

and it's getting quite emotional
):

i dont like to think that i'd probably

never see these awesome kids again.

it's like last summer all over again-

except i'll never get to hear from them

cause they can't get email and sending letters

to the UK is probably too expensive.

argh.

i had the loveliest day yesterday,

it was a public holiday so i decided to bring

the older ones for a roadtrip to this giant park

and i've decided i'm never going to be one of

those parents who volunteer to chaperone their

children's school trips.

it was REALLY difficult getting everyone to stick together,

and there were only 10 of them!

even then, there was only one boy and he was

running all over the place going crazy (:

but it was really nice cause so many of them

haven't really been out of Koteshwor,

which is really busy and dirty and muddy

and on the way there, they just kept going

'miss look at this! look at that tree!

look at this river!'

it was a lot of fun, but also quite sad.

i mean, i dont know how i can help.

yeah, i'm spending some of my time with these kids,

but how do i help beyond that?

how do i make sure they continue to go to school

and not have to dropout because their parents

can't afford to pay for school anymore?

how do i help in ensuring they grow up to

have a good life with equal opportunities as everyone else?

i'm in a very messed up state of mind right now.

only 4 days left.

i'm going to really miss this crazy place.

2009-08-10T13:52:00.001+01:00

i was wrong.

setting papers isn't the hard part-

marking them is!!!

the worst thing is that the teacher lost

ALL my answers so i have no idea what the

right answers are- i'm very crabby at the minute ):

grrrr.

2009-08-10T11:53:00.002+01:00

im back in Nepal!

i really dont understand why my luggage is almost

double the weight of what i brought back

and i haven't really gone shopping at all!

yeah- it was NOT fun lugging all that to school

and then all the way back home, but i made it!

i almost didn't make it back cause the line was so

incredibly long at KLIA but thankfully this airportman

told me to go to this particular counter and

i jumped like 80 people in the queue! (sorry!)

and because there were only 4 women on the flight,

i got my own row again, it was brilliant!

i think most of the people on the flight were

Nepalis going home after working in KL,

the perceived 'land of opportunities' or something

cause everyone brought home a TV

(which was better than ours at home)

and it really looked like our flight was going to

a Hell's Angels convention or something cause

half of the flight were wearing leather jackets

and leather boots- in this weather!

another 10 days in Nepal, then back to UK-

i am so very excited to start uni again (:

2009-08-05T04:31:00.002+01:00

so, i got my flight postponed to Monday.

not just cause i flippin love home
but also cause theres been a strike and there's nothing
much i can do back in Kathmandu anyway.

i love home *sigh*
its like finally having a summer holiday
and it's amazing, i've been spending days
lying at home rereading all the harrypotters
(and have now moved on to narnia,
but it really isn't as exciting as HP)
and eating eating eating (:

got my durians yesterday which
i am really happy about since i haven't gotten
to eat durians for 2 years so i can't wait
to have durian breath for days!! :D

i've also been in shopping malls quite a bit
cause i've realised- there really isn't anything
much to do in msia other than BE in shopping malls!
and i met this fella yesterday who knew my name
and everything- i have no idea who he is!
so i had to play along and nod emphatically
and reminisce over school times ):

im returning to belfast in two weeks time,
HOW QUICK IS THAT?!!
im not ready to start 3rd year medicine ):

okay gotta go buy some chopsticks
for the Belfast house now whee!

2009-07-31T07:20:00.007+01:00

okay, PHOTOS!!

since i'm sitting at home pretty much
doing nothing anyway, i thought i should
put up some photos to let you see some
of the amazing things i've been talking about!
(:

with Season, Mabita and Nikita,
girls from my youngest class and me in my
first kurta suruwal!! (:

here i am, having a balloon blowing competition
with some of the guys from the Prayer Tower
(it's also a home for handicapped people)

view of Phewa lake in Pokhara.
its amazing.

what i saw at 5.30am from the roof of the
house we were living in at Pokhara-
see the Himalayas and the eagle?!!

night i came to malaysia-
i suspect this is the culprit meal that
disabled me for 6 days, it was good though.
with my headmaster's family, he fosters these 4 girls.

and lastly, im ending this with a super heart
wrenching cute photo- eeeeeek (:
some of the boys from the nursery class,
where i spend all of my free periods/break time.

SO CUTE!!

(:

2009-07-30T09:25:00.002+01:00

phew i finally feel okay.

it's been six days of pain but on the upside,
i get to lie in and read harry potter all day (:

i really haven't been doing much,
but in typical sammie fashion,
i've been going to lots of shopping malls
(and haven't actually done any shopping at all!)
and it finally feels like its the summer holidays
cause im actually getting a break so yay!

went to my old high school today for the
parent teacher day and both the teachers
responsible for alyssa's class taught me
in form 2 and none of them recognised me!

it feels surreal that i've left CHS now
for 4 years already- i'm not sure if i like it.

apparently the clouds finally broke over nepal,
monsoon has truly arrived and it's water and mud
everywhere- im not sure if im looking fwd to that!
and theres been a week long strike called,
so all the exams the school is running is canceled anyway,
which is crap cause that means
even after i get back i dont have anything
to do and its too late for me to change my
flight plans now!! ):

arrrgh.
)):

gonna go meet cherru now,
my super awesome oldest friend- can't wait!

2009-07-26T10:40:00.002+01:00

oh i feel so bad.

i've been having the runs for 24 hours now,
having to run to the bathroom on instant notice
urgently really isn't fun at all!
):

but on the flip side, i'm at home home
so it's great!!

the flight was good, there were only 6 females
on the flight and i was the only malaysian on
the plane so that was quite something!

i was at the headmaster's house before as well,
and since he lives like 2km away from the airport
he took me over on the motorbike, with my luggage and everything,
i must've been a sight!

but anyway yes i got home safely and
as i stepped inside KLIA, maybe it's cause
i haven't seen anything like in in 6 weeks-
i was just blown away by how clean and gleaming
the airport was, how rich everything looked.

it took quite awhile getting used to the roads as well,
no honking and no buses!! (:
but it's just weird seeing just such abundance again.

but yeah- started getting the runs and having that
while watching 2 movies in a row really isn't much fun-
thank goodness for clean public toilets here!
(trust me- they're clean compared to Nepal!!)

being home is awesome.

i have so much to get used to again,
but im SO thankful for the free flow of oranges
and great times with the siblings :D

2009-07-24T12:43:00.001+01:00

everything seems to be against me flying tonight.

one, i've said that i'm lactose intolerant

for the past year cause i just dont want

to explain that i abhor anything dairy

(except chocolate and yoghurt etc)

but yesterday when i gorged myself on

this beautiful piece of chocolate cheesecake

it's apparently too much lactose for my body

cause i do not feel great ):

two, there's a transport bandh today!!!

>:(

but even if im puking my heart out

and have to walk to the airport

I AM GETTING ON THAT PLANE!!!!

2009-07-23T12:09:00.002+01:00

malaysians are everywhere!!

i found out today when i went knocking

on my neighbour's door that i live next to a

malaysian missionary here in kathmandu.

it was nice hearing all the 'la's' again,

but not as nice as tomorrow..

WHEN I FLY HOME!!!

:D :D :D

woohoo!

also, i've seen quite amazing things in the past week.

first the Himalayas, and then yesterday was

the solar eclipse- which happens once in 78 years!

and i woke up, still lying on my bed

wondering why on earth it was so dark outside

and then two words came into my head-

solar eclipse!

i jumped up immediately and ran outside,

and i saw this perfect round thing blocking the sun,

which was pretty cool but it really wasn't

as amazing as i thought it would've been-

from the photos i've seen before i thought that

it would've been total darkness but no.

and me being the very smart person i am,

ignored all the warnings about looking at it

directly without any special equipment and

stared at the eclipse for 5 minutes

and paid the price for half an hour later

cause all i could see were black spots-

serves me right!

another thing- maybe cause i've lived here

for almost 6 weeks now, i've somehow changed

to look really Nepali or something cause

everyone is talking to me in Nepali!

it's really funny cause i was with this

English woman who speaks Nepali really well

and she was trying to tell the bus driver something

but he just ignored her and kept on asking me

what I wanted- poor woman!

but i am disgustingly tan- i love it!

okay, more news from me when i reach home

p/s pray for things to go well please,

i dont think i could take it if the airline

suddenly decides to cancel the flight!

2009-07-20T12:15:00.002+01:00

ohmylife.

i must be the sweatiest person ALIVE right now!!

just came back from the hottest place in the world

(okay, maybe i exaggerate too much!)- Pokhara

which is really beautiful, but it somehow feels like

it's 100 metres from the sun, cause yes-

it's THAT hot ):

but yeah it was great to breathe in clean air

and not hear any honks for a few days,

but it took 9 hours to get back cause there

were accidents along the way and everyone

is always so nosy about things like these!

and thank goodness, those 9 hours were

made enjoyable by the amazing sights around,

imagine lush green mountains everywhere and

you're driving down in the bus overlooking fields

and fields of emerald green- i was quite disappointed

that the bus didn't stop for any photo taking!

but the highlight of the trip was definitely

seeing the amazing peaks of the Himalayas.

seriously- WOW.

i got woken up at 5.30am on Saturday telling

me to look out my window and even without glasses,

my mouth just dropped!

Pokhara is surrounded by mountains already,

but cause it's quite cloudy at this time of the year

we didn't really know where to look and didn't

see anything amazing anyway, but in the morning

when the sky is all clear... wow.

honestly, behind the mountains surrounding us were

these large majestic snow-capped mountains

which were shrouded in wisps of clouds so it

looked quite mystical and surreal,

and then there were eagles just soaring around them,

honestly it was FLIPPIN amazing!

i took as many photos as possible,

but photos never do justice ):

and we toyed with the idea of paragliding over

the Himalayas as well, then decided that

it was too cloudy- so looks like I've to come back to

Nepal to do that!

i almost considered trekking but same to my senses!

and boy, during this weekend we met plenty of

weirdos- a guy who claimed to be one of the founding

fathers of Hare Krishna and was telling us all about it,

this Dutch fella who told us he was going down to

Pokhara to 'find some sistas' >.<

and everyone seems to like talking about religion,

which was quite hard for me cause i'm terrible

at talking about Christianity- and it was hard

to debate without sounding offensive but yet

stand my ground you know??

ok my head is spinning, i hvnt had food all day

+gotta go take a shower- more tomorrow!

2009-07-16T17:53:00.002+01:00

i'm taking a 7 hour journey bus ride tomorrow!

apparently the roads are crazy windy

and knowing the reckless bus drivers here,

it should make for an interesting trip!

i really don't think i'll ever complain

about Adam's driving again after this summer,

cause the all the bus drivers here seem to

have a secret passion for car racing or something,

because they are ridiculous at manoevering (sp?!)

their giant clunky buses- overtaking everyone

and always narrowly missing the poor

motorcyclists ):

but yes- i'm going to Pokhara,

which is where you can see all the mountains

(did you know that 8/10 of the highest peaks

in the world are in Nepal?!!)

so i'll be able to see the Annapurna range

if the weather's great but sadly not Everest!

can't wait to breathe clean air again yay!

2009-07-15T16:20:00.003+01:00

so i'm sitting here with mountains of work!

i have a stack of Science exercise books to mark,

one more Health exam paper to write up,

lesson plans for tomorrow to prepare,

and also i'll be doing assembly tomorrow!

teaching is real hard work!

but i'm glad to say that it's not a burden

or anything at all, because surprisingly-

i'm really enjoying teaching kids!

it's definitely a real lesson in patience

and the ability to be calm no matter what.

i was talking to the headmaster the other day

about how some kids will not stop talking

in my classes and he was telling me about

some of these kids' backgrounds and

it's really shocking ):

so i'm happy that the worst thing they're

doing is making too much noise in class,

which to be honest- was my problem when

i was a kid as well (which is probably still my problem now!)

but yeah- there's this boy in one of my classes

who's from a rough background and is

really brilliant but is always a bit spaced out

during class time and it was his birthday today

and the really cute thing was when i walked into

class today and he jumped up and pressed

a few sweets into my hand and gave me this

giant smile- apparently that's what they do on

their birthdays here! (:

and that small gesture just meant so much,

knowing what his family life is like ):

so i went home and bought him a Mars bar!

and these kids really have no idea what they're

talking about most of the time cause the stuff

in their books are just ridiculous!

today we were having a General Knowledge

class and it was filling in the blanks and my

13 year olds made me laugh so hard cause

they insisted that Marco Polo served the

famous Mongol Emperor, Victoria.

(okay, maybe you had to be there..)

let's hope teaching continues to go well

for the next month! (:

here's the photo i promised you!

2009-07-15T12:03:00.002+01:00

here's some proof that I'm actually in Nepal!

this was taken on Sunday in front of the king's palace

(YES- it's salmon pink urrggh!)

with some of the guys from the Prayer Tower

and the white people you see are Interserve people

who I live with + Jeannette who coordinates us.

2009-07-13T11:31:00.001+01:00

so.

guess what?

I BOUGHT MY AIRTIX HOME!!!

to the bestest place in the world-

Malayyyyysia (:

it's gonna be awesome,

even though it's less than 2 weeks.

i'm gonna be home 25th July so

SEE YOU THERE!!

2009-07-11T14:25:00.002+01:00

i had the most awesomest day!

you see, kathmandu is really crazy-

it's busy, noisy and really polluted

but the rest of nepal is bathed in green

and is so peaceful and lovely (:

so today we went to this place called

the Prayer Tower, which is a 24/7 prayer room

and also a home for mentally/physically

handicapped people of all ages.

the house was built up up up the mountain

and the views were just breathtaking-

it was just vast fields of bright green everywhere

and in the horizon were unending mountains,

my words don't put justice to it.

and we attended their service and

hung out with them all day-

i brought balloons, which is always a

source of fun for people of all ages and

soon all the kids were jumping up and down

having so much fun playing (:

and what was amazing is that the guy who started

the place studied in Belfast Bible College!

seriously, NI is such a small place but

it seems like they are everywhere!

and instead of looking to funds/donations

like a lot of charities do here, they have planted

their own hydroponic herbs and vegetables

so that they are self-sufficient and it's just amazing

what's going on in that place (:

it's been a really tiring week,

i've just been really tired all the time

and teaching is getting a bit stressful but

i'm still enjoying it- i just need a short break!

and im 75% coming home.

just need to reconfirm and book my tickets

and HELLO MALAYSIA the best country in the world!

i am super super excited-

only thing is that mum+cas aren't going to be there

for 5 days while i'm home! ):

but hey, i'll take any time i get huh.

still setting exam papers and rereading all

the physics+chem textbooks,

i'm silently thankful that i've gone thru that

stage and never have to study them again.

urgh.

and tomorrow i should be helping out

with bringing the Prayer Tower kids to

visit the King's Palace- sounds like an awesome day!

i hope you're doing well,

wherever you are!

2009-07-08T16:10:00.002+01:00

today, i was reminded of how Nepal

isn't the most peaceloving happy perfect place.

Now, there are bandhs (strikes) all the time

and they can be for anything, the people

seem to really like their protesting,

there are bandhs all over the country everyday.

so anyway, these are not peaceful protests,

all the schools/shops have to close because

there are people who will throw stones/burn

the place down if they know that it is open for business

and the really bad ones don't allow any vehicles

to operate at all- they have some people hired

at the side of the road armed with stones n stuff

so if they see a vehicle coming down the road,

that fella is pretty much dead ):

i've heard stories of them burning buses and all that,

it sounds really violent and incredibly unnecessary.

so today we were on a bus as usual to school

and suddenly the bus did a huge turnabout,

turns out a bandh was just called and we

all had to get off the bus and walk our remaining

journey, which thankfully wasn't too far from the school.

but as we got closer to the school there were

crowds everywhere and we could see a lot of

burning going on cause and lots of police

really geared up with their shields and guns.

and then suddenly, everyone started running

towards us and i got really panicked.

you know how action movies you always see those

shots when there's a giant monster coming or something

everyone just runs?

it was exactly like that so i was really

'oh crap, this is not good!!'

but we took the side roads and nothing

seemed to happen so i thought it was okay

and then again, people just started running

past me and i didn't know what was going on

so i started running for my life!

i was thinking the worst, maybe someone gunning

people down or worse- i don't know,

but for the first time in my life

i was running for dear life-

and to be honest,

i would've gotten gunned down if it

really happened cause i was crap!

so i ran and ran- not really sure from what

but then everything looked normal again

so i calmed down and everyone seemed to be okay

and i just hurried to the school just in case.

but phew that was a real moment of panic there

and thank goodness everything was okay!

so yes, Nepal is still a little crazy

but thankfully these bandhs don't happen

that seriously too often.

pray for peace!

2009-07-07T16:54:00.002+01:00

i LOVE my school!

honestly it's amazing (:

so today was Teacher's Day,

and it's basically a day dedicated to hardworking

selfless patient teachers everywhere

(and i'm technically a teacher for the summer,

so i got to reap all the benefits!)

but anyway the kida had been practising for ages

and they had this whole lineup for performances

and just their willingness to sing and dance is amazing!

i mean, the school only has about 140 kids

and there were so many performances that

each of them performed more than twice!

and i loved every minute of it.

even when out of the blue, they announced

'now is the time for Miss Samantha to

come and give us a speech!!!'

i really don't deal well with these things,

it was a terrible shock but i think i managed

to amuse the kids by speaking some

Nepali that i've learnt so far so everyone

laughed at how bad i was- which for me

is better than a boring speech anyday!

but yeah those kids love springing surprises

on their teachers, there were a lot of spontaneous

speeches today and all the teachers had to go up

and dance in front of the kids as well,

which they really loved.

and boy do these Nepali people love dancing!

once the teachers started they really got into it

and the kids started getting into it and at one point

the whole room was just chaos cause all the

kids starting dancing while the teachers

were in front doing the same!!

it was so much fun (:

and i'm really really loving this.

2009-07-06T12:36:00.002+01:00

i've been a teacher for ten days,

and i've just been told i have to set

exam papers for all 5 of my classes!!!

that's 5 different years of science/chem/physics/general knowledge

papers to set, and most of the classes

i teach more than one subject!!

so that's going to be lots of fun.

but i guess there are perks too,

tomorrow's Teacher's Day- i dont think the

West celebrates this, it's the teacher's equivalent

to Father/Mother's Day (:

and finally, i'm not a student anymore

and get to be honoured as a 'real' teacher!

woohoo!

2009-07-05T12:26:00.003+01:00

what a crazy day!

like i've said before, Nepal is really

an adventure- it's always so surprising!

so woke up today to a text telling me that

this other guy from Queens- Steve,

(to those who know, it was steve barr)

who wanted to go to church so there

was a mad moment of arranging how to meet up

thru facebook and texting

(both UK numbers- i'm going to be broke!)

and when it finally happened,

it was really nice seeing a familiar face.

after church Jeannette brought Catherine

and I to my first venture outside of Kathmandu

into this Newari village called Bungamati

which is basically a farming village and

it was SOOO nice getting out of that crazy

honking dusty noisy place that is the city

and into the quiet real Nepal.

and because I didn't expect this,

i thought we'd be looking at museums or

temples or something like that i was

still wearing my church clothes-

a proper skirt and nice shoes and everything

and they decided to go tramping across the rice paddy field!

so off we went, both of them appropriately dressed

and walking without fear and me tagging behind,

jumping from stone to stone above the

mud in fear that i would fall into the

paddy plants- you know how incredibly clumsy i am!

there were huge fields of paddy plants

so we walked about and i saw a few

Newari farmer women sitting down to have their

lunch so i walked over to see whether i could get

a photograph of them, and to my surprise

they whipped out an extra plate and heaped it

with typical Newari food and made us

all sit down and have lunch together.

it was seriously amazing,

eating with these people smack bang

in the middle of the paddy fields looking

at the acres and acres of greenery around.

and you know what they drink?!!

this alcoholic beverage that is almost 100% alcohol.

they kept asking us to try some,

but it smelled so strong even from a few metres away

i had to refuse.

i have no idea how they work in the

fields properly with that much alco

in their system!

so yeah, then we walked all the way back in the rain.

took lots of photos but

typical samantha tan, brought the flipping

wrong cable all the way to nepal!!

arrgh!

you just have to rely on words for now.

2009-07-04T13:33:00.002+01:00

what a crazy day.

as usual in Nepal,

anything can and will happen very unexpectedly.

so today I found out that I live 2 minutes

away from Kathmandu Vineyard,

which is a sister church to the one I go to Belfast!

so yay it was a Nepali service but really nice.

a lot of the songs were actually the Vineyard

english songs that have been translated and

the worship team were made up of street kids that

were rescued and now live in a home run by the church.

so that was pretty cool and they were asking if

anyone had this particular illness or health problem

to come up to be prayed for- and pretty much the whole

church went up to the front and cause the prayer

ministry team was so overwhelmed they called

us by name to go up and be part of the prayer team!

it was weird praying for Nepali people who

prolly had no clue what I was saying!

but oh well, God understands and that's all that matters (:

so we went on to Pashapati after,

which is this group of temples and this is where

the Hindus cremate their dead family members and

wash their ashes into the Bagmati river,

which as a result is terribly horribly dirty.

we arrived right at the time where this family just

laid their dead grandfather by the river

and started the ritual so we sat down and watched

for an hour or so, it was really sad seeing the family

say their last goodbyes and torch the body.

I've never been to a funeral before so I've

never really experienced firsthand just that emotion

and atmosphere of grief ):

it actually felt like i was intruding but it was just this

big open space next to the river and there were

random people just sitting about while the

family were mourning and it seemed like such a private moment.

it must be so hard to see the face you're so familiar

with being consumed by flames.

so yeah, weird long hot day.

i'm visiting a Newari village tomorrow,

which is apparently going to be really Nepal-like

cause everyone says Kathmandu is too westernised.

i'm trying to upload photos, we'll see how that goes!

2009-07-03T15:54:00.002+01:00

i am forever grateful to the amazing+

incredibly generous friend that is Adam Milne!

because..

I AM WRITING THIS ON MY LAPTOP ((:

yes, he drove from Newry>> Belfast

to get dear old Nathan the clunky noisy unreliable computer

and gave it to Catherine who had to lug it all the way!

(catherine's from NI and will be working in the same school)

and then I had a fright cause it wouldn't work

with the wireless and had to bring it over

to the International school for the IT guys

to look over which took an hour and finally,

the glorious moment arrived where I could

finally finally get Internet in my room!!!

oh how I took things for granted.

on the sick front: it's hard getting better with the terrible

polluted air over here, so i've been getting

worse and worse actually-

it got so bad on tuesday, i woke up with

burning eyes and just lots of heat

emanating from my body so I left work

after 2 periods and came home to sleep

but I couldn't cause I was coughing too much.

it's been a pattern lately with the night coughing,

it's annoying but it's easier to deal with than

the swollen gums in Week 1 so i'm not going to complain.

anyway going to see some sights this week with Catherine here

so I won't look so touristy- going to some place

where they cremate dead bodies (which is apparently

some great big tourist attraction- WHY?!)

and some temply places, which is pretty much

all of Nepal cause temples/worshippy places

seem to be everywhere- and they all have intricate

woodwork and stuff like that which really remind

me of my parents.

also, this week I finally got my kurtasuruwal made,

my beautiful Nepali outfit that is so loose

it's like wearing pajamas all day

(which is my ultimate dream) so I'm very happy

and hoping to buy a few more to wear everyday!

expect more updates now!

2009-06-28T08:43:00.002+01:00

hello!

it's been a really busy week, time has just flown!

and it's been raining terribly this week,
im sitting in really wet muddy squelchy shoes
at the minute, which is kinda gross but i love
how its cool enough to wear a cardi!

so i taught 4 days at school today,
and i know i never want to be a proper teacher.
i like teaching, but never as a full time job!
it was a bit crazy last week but i think
i've got the hang of it now.
still though, its a very mentally taxing job
i come home at 5 everyday totally exhausted,
and im usually in bed by 8.30pm,
which i LOVE because this never happens in NI!
(:

anyway im still sick, coughing half my alveoli
away every night and i can't get to sleep
but its improving and i'm getting my voice back
so im hoping it'll be totally gone this week
cause i'm getting a roommate and i don't want
to be keeping someone else up all night
with the terrible coughing!

so yeah, i'm really enjoying it at the minute,
hoping that i find enough stuff to immerse myself
in so i won't be wasting any free time!

oh btw i was at a nepali church yesterday
and suddenly the pastor asked if i would
give my testimony to the whole congregation
about 5 minutes before the service, which
apparently happens quite often here, he
said that this may move on to giving a message (!!!!)

i will actually die of fright if that ever happens,
i'm not smart enough to give a message!

anyway yeah i hate introducing myself at new services
and i foresee a lot of this happening in the
next two months ):

and ooh btw i have something planned,
and if things work out i may be coming home!
(: (: (:

home home, not belfast home.
but yeah, im really excited, just looking at
air tickets now which are extortionate
but please please please God let me go home!

so yeah, exciting news but i don't wnt to
get my hopes up just in case tix are too expensive.
):

more news when something exciting happens!

2009-06-24T15:14:00.001+01:00

I PASSED MY SECOND YEAR!!!

so hello,
i am now an official third year medic.

awesome (:

i was quite worried awhile there about having to fly back
but now everythings awesome and i am so excited
about the next two months! ((:

whee!

2009-06-24T13:15:00.002+01:00

i'm sick.

my immune system has been battling a lot
since i arrived- the terrible polluted air,
kids coughing and sneezing in my face,
dirty little hands touching my face ):

so i have a sore throat and am developing a cough/flu
thing, which isn't pleasant but it's a lot
better than the swollen gums issue!

and i'm in mental agony over results,
which are supposed to be out TODAY
so i rushed home after work to an internet cafe
so look for my results and had that moment of anticipation
as the page loaded... but no it's not up ):

sigh, another 24 agonising hours to go!

2009-06-20T12:03:00.002+01:00

IT RAINED :D

anyway the most surreal thing happened to me yesterday!
i was walking along to the hospital with my iPod on,
then i glanced behind to see if i could cross the road
and i saw something really tall and red
so i looked back, thinking it was a lorry..

and then i thought, hmm that's a bit weird
so i looked behind again,
and ..

A FLIPPIN ELEPHANT WAS STARING AT ME!
he was walking next to me on a small street
wearing a giant red coat thing,
and i swear i almost died.

and then the elephant just ambled on like
these things happen everyday!
i asked around and apparently hes from the zoo
and takes walks all the time.

that was weird.

yesterday was a weird day, went to hand
out balloons to children in the hospital
which was lovely and then i went to this
school that was in the slums-
and it's nothing like what was shown
in Slumdog Millionaire!
it was very rocky and dusty and quarry-like
(this is from my imagination,
i have no idea what a real quarry looks like!)

but yeah the school was just in shambles,
it was just a brick shed and there were about 20 kids
in that one room from ages 3-9 and
i dont think they've ever been to school before,
so these kids were running amok
going crazy and screaming and crying all the time.

it was seriously so overwhelming and
we brought out puzzles and building blocks
and stuff like that but they just went
crazy over them, everyone just dove in
and fought for every piece of puzzle-
it was just madness.

and because this was just a preliminary thing,
to see whether there was a chance to help out
in this school once a week-
in my head it was a firm no.

but i thought over it and realised,
nothing's going to be easy and i can't just
say no to helping out in a place where they so
obviously need help just cause i don't like it
and it's too uncomfortable right?

):

i don't know.

nepal has its days,
sometimes i love it (when i'm at good shepherd)
and sometimes i'm hoping that i fail my exams
so i get to fly back for my resits.

it's hard, but i know that if i at least
have helped make things better just in
one person's life- it's all worth it.
(:

alright, til tomorrow!

2009-06-18T12:31:00.002+01:00

so.

i miss UK weather.
the only thing that bothers me is the weather,
and the monsoon is long overdue ):
please please please please rain soon,
because I don't know if i can stand the heat any longer!

yes, malaysia can be hotter and more humid
but there's airconditioning everywhere and
i don't have to walk all over the place, so
i dont notice the heat at all!
but here, oh my life.

anyway i was at school today to observe and play
with the 3yos again, which was lovely (:

so i'll be teaching chemistry and of all subjects,
disgusting annoying physics.
arrrrrrgh!
the only subject i hate more than maths is physics!

and just looking through the syllabus to see what I have to teach
is bringing back memories of form5 lab classes
where pn. ang bang lee would try to shout her way
across all these cocky students who thought they
knew everything and thus spent the whole class time
talking and doing other homework.
(i caught up with my chickflick reading!)

but yeah another problem i've realised is..

i learnt all this in BM/Chinese
and now I have to teach in stupid English!
honestly, English is great but they have
such a wide vocab and there are so many different
confusing terms for everything ):

and because I'm teaching kids 9-15,
there's a wide range of things for me to relearn
and 15yo kids here learn physics that is taught in
AS Level in the UK, which makes things a lot harder
because I didn't take Physics for A Levels!
):

i just want to tell these kids that honestly,
knowing such things like electron valency and
u= v+at (is that right?!) is really not applicable
after they graduate and i forgot everything anyway!

but oh well, i think another science teacher is coming in soon
so maybe that'll be some help and i'll
just go on and take art lessons with the younger ones (:

yesterday i had the most interesting day.
i spent the whole day with these girls in a home
called the Princess Home, which is run by a church
who rescues girls that were forced into prostitution.
and these rescued girls run a business making beaded
jewellery to earn enough money for their future,
which is really amazing!

apparently there are loads and loads of things like that
in Nepal and it's really nice to see that
there are so many organisations doing so much here!

so i might be helping out there once a week.

and tomorrow i get to go to the pediatric ward
to hand out balloons to sick children!

pray for rain!

2009-06-16T12:43:00.002+01:00

I AM GOING TO DIE OF HEAT!!!

it's reaching 40 degrees celsius here,
and i swear i will never ever ever
complain about lovely wonderful cold UK weather again!

so yeah yesterday was terrible because
there was a strike called, and that means every shop
has to close and no vehicles are allowed on the roads,
which was terrible because we walked 2-3 hours
under the stupid sun.

and i went to the Patan hospital yesterday,
where i will be volunteering once a week
in the pediatric ward, which will be really really nice (:

you know, for one of the worlds poorest countries,
the hospital is about as rundown as the Selayang one
in KL where I went for my JPA hospital attachment,
which is saying something about the condition
of Malaysian hospitals!

and then we walked a couple hours to this place called
Emmanuel Crafts, which is a beadmaking business
for single mothers/widows which was really nice
because all these women who had nothing just a couple
of years ago now can support their children thru med school!

and finally today, i went to visit Good Shepherd school
where I will be primarily working.
I had to take the bus there, and seriously-
this bus was terribly terribly jammed with people
and because they dont have proper bus stops,
people can just hail the bus anywhere by waving
and everyone just piles on, there's never too many people on the bus.

together with the constant honking,
it was seriously bleargh.
and then i started thinking:
'what on earth was going through my mind when
i wanted to work for 10 weeks in a place i've
never even been before?!!'

but thankfully, the school more than made up for it.

Good Shepherd School is a school for slum children,
and most of them are seriously seriously poor
but you wouldn't know it from seeing them
because they were so affectionate and lovely
and i had such an amazing time!

got to play with the 3 year old nursery kids for
the whole day and i really want to bring them all
back to the UK with me! (:

and i found out that i'll be teaching science-
which honestly, i dont remember anything of!
but i'm sure i'll figure something out.

but yeah, i'm really excited to be working there
because it's just such a lovely environment and
it was really refreshing to see all the teachers
have such a heart for children.

it really reminded me of my primary school days though,
when i walked into a class the kids all stood up
and greeted me, it was exactly what we would've done!

but yeah- things seem to be going well,
hopefully i'll be able to integrate more and
find my way around, because this place
is highly confusing- there are NO road names!

pray for my teeth because my gums got swollen when i
first got here and i thought it was because of the heat
but i think now it's more because my wisdom teeth
are growing out and painkillers don't work,
and you know how i hate going to see people
of the medical profession for health stuff so
i really hope i dont have to go see a dentist!

but yeah it's a lot to get used to,
for example water is not safe so it takes some getting used to,
having to boil water for dishes and use filter water
for teethbrushing, i've gotten so used to drinking
straight from the tap in the UK!

and people think i'm from India ):
that should give you an idea of how dark I am at the minute!

see you!

2009-06-13T09:45:00.002+01:00

so i am here!

its weird, after planning for ages and ages
it seems terrible surreal,
but yeah i am here sitting typing away in someone's house
because i didnt think to ask whether there was internet
in my room- which there is arrrrgh!
but at least it'll give me time to read and
get away from the world for a bit you know?

so anyway- trip was awesome,
had cushy seats that were the last row so i could
recline without feeling guilty-
watched He's Just Not That Into You
which I've wanted to watch for yonks,
and had great curry to eat so I was happy enough!
(and also scored High Scores in Tetris!)

and then upon reaching in Delhi,
they brought us transit people to the business lounge
to sit and enjoy complimentary food while
waiting for my flight to Nepal-
which was pretty awesome!

the last flight from Delhi- Nepal
was a short one but even then, they served food as well,
you gotta love that Asian hospitality (:

so yeah flying into the Kathmandu valley
surrounded by these majestic mountains was
quite an experience, but too bad the mountains are covered
by clouds most of the time so i can't see too well
but you can always see the outline of the mountain range
beyond the clouds, its really beautiful.

cars are crazy here
you hear stories of india where the drivers are
insane and it's pretty much the same here!
they honk every 3 seconds (REALLY!)
without any need to so its a constant cacophony
of honking, people shouting, and lots MORE honking!
crossing the road is a serious life hazard
but i haven't seen anyone knocked down yet
so i'm crossing my fingers!

im told that the school im teaching at is very flexible
so i can take time off and go traveling for abit,
which will be nice once my roommate gets here!

its very dusty as well, and its quite dirty but
not as bad as i had thought it would be
(from watching Slumdog Millionnaire!)
and its like teluk intan i think but of course
a lot more indian people and more rundown.

i live next to a zoo!
and my room is actually next to the lion's cage
so apparently i will be wakened up the lion's roar,
which is pretty cool because how many people can say
that they've lived next to a zoo??

i'm actually sweating so much already,
which is ridiculous because i grew up in the
hottest country in the world (not really!)
but i'm so used to stupid belfast weather that
i'm sweating more than the Brits here,
which is terrible ):

oh, and food here is quite cheap which is nice
but i dont think i can be bothered to cook
because washing up and everything requires
water boiling and lots of sanitation steps
so ill just stick with the cereals for awhile,
i got 1kg of mangoes for 50p which is great!
(:

i sound quite cheery and happy but
this morning i was kicking myself for
choosing to go for 10 weeks!
what was i thinking, honestly?
(especially when I was eating my usual breakfast
of peanutbutterjam sandwich with the brown bread
i bought that was as hard as a rock ):
and thinking of the good squidgey Hovis Granary ones!)

but i think i just have to get used to it and
things will get better with time!

continue to pray for me and i will update as much as possible!
(:

2009-06-11T09:10:00.001+01:00

I LEAVE TODAY!!!

AAAAAAH!!!

i know good things will happen but i also feel
scarednervousexcitedgiddy at the same time.
it didnt help that my friends didnt leave til 4am last night
and im up early to pack- i'm pretty out of it!

but yes, will update when i get there!

2009-05-28T19:04:00.002+01:00

i just read my sister's blog and realised
how much family stuff i'm missing out on.
calvin's sports day, the pool table in the hall
(very weird concept), and so many new and
unexpected things happening in the house.

i guess i always thought things would be the same
and there wouldn't be any major changes you know?

but now i see the kids growing up and
it's a bit sad that i'm not a part of their lives at all.

):

the second question i get asked the most
(after 'are you from america?' grrr.)
is if i plan to go home after i graduate.

and for now, that's a resounding yes!

because i love it here but not enough to stay forever.

and because no matter what anyone says,
and no matter how terrible the political situation gets,
malaysia is still the best place to live in.

(:

2009-05-26T11:44:00.002+01:00

half an hour to my anatomy exam.

and somehow, i'm so nervous i actually feel like throwing up.
maybe it's because we're all going in turns and
most of the class have finished so i'm sitting home alone
making myself more and more nervous.

i've taken so many exams but it never gets easier!

oh arrrgh i just looked outside the window
and it's raining like there's no tomorrow!
now i have to get changed again ):

my stomach is churning.
my heart feels like it's stuck in my throat
and that's not a great feeling.

eeeeeeek!
):

2009-05-25T00:11:00.002+01:00

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

the next door neighbours are BLASTING OUT
FLIPPIN TECHNO MUSIC!!!

since 10 am this morning and now its 12.12am!!!
ARRRRRRRRRGH I NEED TO GO TO BED
BECAUSE I HAVE EXAMS OKAY>:(

i hate that my bed is right above their stupid noise.

yes i love techno BUT NOT WHEN ITS BEING BLASTED
ALL FLIPPIN DAY LONG WHEN I'M TRYING TO DO WORK!!
>:(

but of course, im too chicken to actually do anything
so i have to let some energy loose somewhere.

i'm super tired but i can't go to sleep
because somehow some people think that techno is
perfect nighttime music, especially in a neighbourhood
with 80% senior citizens who must be
lying awake in their beds thinking the same things i am.

i actually am so frustrated i'm going to cry.

at least i had a little cheering up earlier with
Britain's Got Talent, which is THE show at the moment
(:

i have to admit though, quite sadly that
i frequently find myself bursting into tears
because there are such great stories in the show
and i love it when they go on to do well
and their dreams come true :D

but yeah back to the dang neighbours.
very annoyed.
>:(

2009-05-21T16:52:00.002+01:00

finished my first paper.

and wow.
my head hurts like crazy.

the combination of strong coffee
(which really doesn't wake me and gives me headaches
but i'm convinced that if i keep drinking, something will happen)
+ 5 hours of sleep+ 13 hour study days
culminated in a massive headache in the middle of the paper.

yeah.
not fun ):

and boy, those were pretty much the hardest
and wordiest 100 questions i've ever seen.

i'm ashamed to admit that i 'tembak'ed a couple,
something i haven't done since high school days.
sigh.

have a written one tomorrow,
which should be better but at this point,
work should be increasing 100X because
there is no way i'll pass if i do this badly!

i wish i was home!
):

2009-05-17T10:21:00.003+01:00

What a blessed week.

In regards to my Nepali summer anyway,
I got another 100pounds by a random mission trust
which I've heard of but I don't remember writing a letter to,
which is REALLY awesome news and that means
my total raised is 1050 pounds,
which is TOTALLY beyond what i've dreamed of!
i'm paying for the rest myself,
and thankfully, it's a manageable amount!

i also have to bring balloons because the hospital
i'm going to be volunteering a couple mornings at
give out balloons and they're running out,
and yesterday work gave me hundreds and hundreds
of them for free, which will definitely
make A LOT of kids happy (:

and i finally watched Wolverine!
he's always been my favourite XMen
and i'm so happy he got his own movie (:

i kinda wished they showed the band of mutants more,
what an awesome cast there.

and yes, exams start in 4 days time.
that means revision pretty much 24/7 from now on,
which is such a depressing thought.
ah well ):

oh yes, and i also got my placements this week
for third year and i've been placed in a hospital
aout 40 mins away and i was a bit panicked at first
because it would've been impossible to get back
for CU every week because I would probably
have to live in halls there for 13 weeks,
but someone called up and offered me a lift everyday!

God is great (:

and last thing-
i've finished 2nd year uni!

i'm terrified.

2009-05-04T00:06:00.003+01:00

So Nathan the laptop brokedown over the weekend
(always perfect timing!)
and Internetless weekends are never fun.
thank goodness for church and work and revision.
all very exciting stuff.

so i was working yesterday and a fight broke out
between two kids, and one was drunk.
very very wrong how kids about 15 are
hanging around town getting drunk on weekends.
very sad also
):

but yeah so a fight broke out and i was standing
next to this woman with her three children sitting near
where the fight was and i watched her turn around,
look in horror at the close proximity of her dear children
to the violence and watched her mummy instincts kick in.

it was seriously one of the most amazing things i've seen.

that lady who was totally unassuming and timidlooking
transformed into the fierce mother and with that
adrenaline rush, she sprinted towards her
innocent children and held them, standing between
her kids and the ridiculous pointless fight that was going on.

whoa.

i do miss the parents loads when i see things like this.

especially lately when exams are near
and there's no one to make me lotus root soup
to calm frayed nerves and no one to make sure
that routine things like laundry and stuff
are taken care of so that all i need to care about
is doing proper work! ):

exams are really making my head spin.

other than the constant stress i am under
(which is beyond what i expected)
i am turning into an emotional wreck as well.

yesterday i was watching Britain's Got Talent
and there was this little cute boy who got through
and he was so excited as he ran into his dad's arms
with a smile and bright as the sun.

and that was it.
i just burst into tears for no reason at all.

i am turning mental!

maybe it's time for some sleep ):

2009-04-30T21:19:00.003+01:00

okay.
i am over it.
for now anyway.

had a really good talking session
with people and heard lots of great advice
and today i finally realised how crazily busy i am
so that's taking up all my mind right now.

in the past week, i've been out from 9am
to about 10pm rushing around doing things/ studying.
it's actually getting ridiculous.

i'm falling into that vicious cycle of stressing myself
and i'm getting more stressed by the minute
cause...

EXAMS ARE IN EXACTLY THREE WEEKS TIME!!!

aaaah!!

and seriously, these are not exams to be trifled with.
i do well in exams, yes, but this is a whole new story
and i really don't think i can take it this time.

):

my head is going to explode.

it's 9.20pm and i'm so ridiculously tired
i'm actually going to bed.
make it up by waking extra early tomorrow!

2009-04-26T23:28:00.003+01:00

actually, scratch that.

there has been something that's been bothering
me forawhile now, and i'd like to just let it out
because i heard it's therapeutic to write.

so another friend/acquaintance gets engaged.

this year alone, i've heard news about like
5-6 friends/acquaintances/people i know of
get engaged and it's really getting ridiculous.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE LOVE LOVE weddings
and i love the idea of early marriages and
finding The One at 20 and spending an entire
lifetime together in happily wedded bliss.
(especially if it's a godly relationship!)

but i really have to admit,
everytime i hear such great news like that
a little part of me goes 'why not me?!'

am i that undesirable?!

which is a terrible attitude, i know ):

but let's be honest, i am a girl.
and i'm also in my twenties,
(which medically- i'm at the prime of life! fertility wise.)
and i also am in love with the idea of love.

and i've talked to my dad about this
and he thinks there's a problem with the
Tan sisters cause we seem like we're
dying to get hitched- his exact words!

sometimes it just feels like it's never going to happen.
and i'm being really honest here,
sometimes i watch TV documentaries and they show
really horrible nasty people and THEY all have
boyfriends/life partners/ husbands as well.
which makes me assess myself and think:
well why doesn't it happen to me?!!

maybe God is preparing me for something better,
but naturally, i'm a very impatient person.

and whenever i talk to people about this
they always reply with the verse that Paul writes,
saying that God will only plan a life of singlehood
for those who can take it and have no desire to marry-
which kinds reassures me a bit cause
i definitely have a desire to marry
(and have lots of kids, i'll touch on this later!).

but then again, maybe the
best way I can glorify God is by being single?
maybe I can do most and actually
be a better witness by remaining a Miss?

or maybe i'm thinking too much?
(daddy, i KNOW what you're thinking okay!)

i guess i'm just having a LOT of internal struggle
and this issue is really one of the bigger ones.

i was just rewatching the last bit of
Sense+Sensibility just now where the main guy
tells the main girl that he wants to marry her
and she's just SO happy and they
show their married life where he's chasing chickens
and she's just in perfect total wedded bliss.

i want that!

yes, i know this is totally against my pact
(to spend so much time thinking about relationships)
but it's just so intrinsic in me and i just....

i guess i'm just really frustrated that i seem
to always to be person whose single
the person whose alone and i feel like
the toy that no kid wants to buy,
just sitting on that shelf gathering dust
while other newer and shinier toys are
edging it out into the dark corners of the shelf.

do you get my analogy?

i guess it's just always been a touchy issue for me
and it seems so easy for everyone else but me.

i feel like i'm going to end up like a talentless SusanBoyle.
):

and i don't WANT to feel this way!
i want to be confident and know that i don't need this!
i want to feel like im ABOVE these feelings and i'm my own person!
but i just get caught up again and again everytime
someone tells me of their great news and of course i feel
so incredibly happy for them but it's just that
sinking feeling i get after that really gets me.

so, to youknowwhoyouare,
i know you're really cut up right now about r'ships
and about Him right now but i hope you see that
it's so much better than what i feel.
(is it better to have love and lost
than to have not loved at all?)

goodnight.

2009-04-26T23:17:00.002+01:00

my Easter Break is over!
yay.

three weeks of being idle and having
the thought of horrible horrible exits
looming over my head is too much.

and thank goodness, it ended with a great
3 days away in the Mournes with the CU committee
planning our year ahead and just being
free from technology and the other unnecessary
things crowding my everyday life.

and boy, were they three crazy days with
a sudden swelling of my eye (my vision was blocked for a bit)
and jumping into the door ):

i am so excited for CU next year!

anyways another 4 weeks until exams
and then SUMMER FREEDOM!
it's quite scary to think that its only such
a short time until the crazy summer but
so much studying and working to do in between ):
it's going to be a very intense month
with crazy revision but it's going to be worth it
knowing that i passed and don't have to
cut my trip short to repeat them.
bleh.

so i'm compiling a list of books i am going to bring
to Nepal- does anyone have any great books to read?
(:

2009-04-19T19:22:00.002+01:00

So I joined Twitter-
maybe I'm just a bit too connected?
facebook+twitter+blogger
= too much time on my hands!

anyways yeah it is incredibly stalker friendly!
thank goodness it wasn't around when
TheTen were active in college, cause that would've
gotten waaay out of hand!

so yes.
updates.

on Nepal- 50 pounds to go!
but thinking of vaccinations (so i'll be alive to return!)
and that would stretch it another 120 pounds
which i guess isn't too bad but i really don't
have anymore time to work+ balance studying!
bleh.

on Christmas- i'm looking at flights to come home.
cause I want to celebrate Christmas and my 21st at home,
(eating beef noodles+charkueyteow+sushi etc etc
for my birthday dinner of course!)
and also cause i really don't know whens the next time
i'm going home again ):

the problem: $$$.
as usual. it's going to be about 800 pounds for flights home
but i don't think i can earn that money by then
and also, should i keep that money for my summer?
(i'm thinking Doulos currently cause it's
going to be their last year but we'll see!)

but of course, home >>>> summer.
i don't know, money is always a big issue.
i've learnt that the hard way ):

on current life- one more week of easter break!
which means.. 5 more weeks til exam starts.

i'm really oscillating between superstressed mode
and 'blah i can't be bothered!' mode so
i'm really not getting much work done.

and it doesnt help that it's so beautifully sunny
(but disgustingly hot, i hate the heat!)
and the whole neighbourhood seems to be having
parties all the time with screaming children
and obnoxious techno music (not the nice TechnoFriday type!)
which somehow puts me in a drowsy mood
and poof!
that's an afternoon gone.

i'm really ranting here cause i haven't
had anyone to talk to in the past 3 days so
i think i'm getting a bit crazy.

okay 7.30pm.
time for some more immunology.
yuck.

2009-04-14T16:30:00.002+01:00

this is frustrating.

i need a break from studying!
getting very unproductive even though
i've been doing nothing but sit at home
in pajamas studying and eating all day.

yeah.
at least i'll be fat and smart (:

i'm doing an essay at the moment
which is really frying my brain.

it's about the ethical issues of IVF treatment
and frankly, it's advanced to quite a weird level.

thought of the day:

people are choosing embryos who are genetically
compatible so that they can grow up to be
organ donors to their very sick older sibling.

isn't that weird?!

i dont know how i would feel about that
if i was that child, growing up knowing
that you were chosen to be a substitute.
that's quite crushing ):

bleh i've eaten so much raisins and cheerios today
my tongue feels like it's going into diabetic shock!

teethbrushing time!

Wahey!

2009-04-08T22:59:00.003+01:00

after having a major freakout moment
this morning while talking to my dad about
budgeting for the summer,
i got more great financial support news!!

i am so so blessed,
i hope i can get paid a bit more
so that the money can go towards to school
instead of my expenses.
because I really don't deserve it!

but yeah it's SO awesome what
God has been doing but on another note,
i hate the fact that i doubt so much.
blergh!
need to definitely work on this.

anyway, was in Dublin past weekend for a
leadership conference and it was beautiful.
but so empty ):
apparently it's due to the terrible economy.

and the same is happening in US,
and it really saddens me to hear that camp
can't hire as many people this summer also
because of the lousy economy.

I guess I've been hearing all these news about
how people are being laid off and companies
and shutting down, but I've never really experienced
anything remotely close to this so
the reality of how harsh things are for so many people
is really a rude awakening ):

I wonder how my perspective on money and stuff
will change after i spend 10 weeks in poverty?

So here's my big news.

2009-04-01T18:27:00.002+01:00

it's been a weird couple of days.
got into a really awkward moment with
Adam on Monday which led to us not talking
whole of Tuesday- and it really was the weirdest thing ever,
cause we talk pretty much ALL the time
and the house was incredibly tense.
but thankfully everything was resolved today
and i'm on good terms with all my friends again.
yay.

but yeah remember i was talking about
my big news few posts back?

well here it is, cause it got made official today.

I'm going to be the SocialActionCoordinator
for Christian Union next year!

what that means is that I'm going to
be creating opportunities for the CU body
to go out and help the poor/needy/homeless,
which I'm really passionate about.

I realise that I've changed so much,
before Belfast I've always thought of doing socialactiony
stuff but never really bothered enough to do it,
but since coming here I've been really fired up
and this is going to be awesome cause
it means that I can actually plan and do stuff!
(:

yay.

So I've decided I'm not going to be wasting this
golden opportunity and dedicate this next year
towards doing as much as possible
(of course medicine comes top)
and stop wasting my time doing/thinking unnecessary things!
seriously- i've spent too much time being
idle and letting unimportant things distract me.
):

big news #2- my best girlfriend in Belfast
is moving in with me next year!!
(: (: (:
sarinah's going to be moving in as matthew moves out.
I'm really excited for her to move in,
but also quite sad that matthew has to go.
but seriously- it's going to be awesome.

all throughout last year when matthew mentioned
that he may be moving out, the only person
I would've wanted to move in was her
but it was always quite impossible
but it's actually happening!! (:

she's the only white person i know
who has her own rice cooker and calls
capsicums 'capsicums' cause everyone else
here calls them peppers (which they are clearly not).

the funny thing is, her mum was a missionary
in Indonesia for the longest time so their family
is quite Asiany and she seems to think
that sarinah will be able to pick up loads of
Asian cooking skills from me
and that's just a joke (:

cause I am pretty clueless!

but yeah exciting stuff for next year!
it's going to be busy but ohsogood.

so yeah btw i have to get vaccinations for Nepal
and they're going to cost at least 150pounds.
seriously.
): maybe i should just risk getting rabies?

does anyone know how high the incidence of getting
rabies is in Kathmandu??
blergh.

okay shower time.

The crash comes after a high.

2009-03-30T13:31:00.004+01:00

So I got a letter today telling me
that I got rejected for a travel scholarship
that uni offers for people travelling in the summer.
and I didn't get it ):

i kinda was counting on that for my main
source of funding this summer.
my initial reaction was one of disappointment
and asking WHY?!!

but after the tears and i realised that
I've already got 500 pounds given to me
and someone out there probably needs it more than I do.
and also, if i get it this year
I won't be able to get it next year and maybe
i'll need it even more next year?

i am rambling.

but yeah i guess there was some unhappiness
but after putting things into perspective,
i'm sure happier things will come and
I need to just trust in God's perfect timing!
(:

it's really not my best day.
I stabbed myself with a scalpel
while trying to get to the muscles of the foot
underneath all the dead skin and tough layers.
blergh, im sure i got some cadaver juice in my
thumb right now ):

but then my anatomy group and I got into
a small singalong and started singing the
HAPPIEST song i can think of- Hakuna Matata!

and then i youtubed it heard the funniest joke today.

'Hakuna Matata... it's our motto'
'what's a motto?!'
'what's the motto with you?!!'

HAHAHHAHAHA.

i love TheLionKing!
(:

2009-03-27T08:50:00.002Z

so I was at LateLove last night.
LateLove is this thing run by CU
where we give out tea/coffee+biscuits to people
passing by from a night out and 70% of the people
we meet are drunk and we're just showing
God's love in a practical way.

so anyway, I was done with my shift of
standing in the freezing cold pouring tea
and was walking inside to warm my ears
when one of my other medic friends
called me over so I went without thinking.

he and this other guy were standing supporting
this really drunk girl who was lost and didn't know
where she was so we HAD to bring her home.
they didn't want to go without a girl cause
it would've looked really sleazy and bad.

so anyway we wandered up the streets
for ages and she kept chasing us away cause
she felt bad but there was NO way we were leaving her alone!
she was looking for her sister's house but
she didn't know exactly where she lived and
her sister wasn't picking up her phone
so we just wandered about for an hour looking
for nothing in particular and hoping fervently
that someone would pick up the phone
and the poor girl would have somewhere to sleep.

it was weird, cause i've never been refused help
so many times in an hour and she just kept insisting
that we leave her alone (in a nice way though) and
that she'll be fine and okay.
but with the way she was teetering on her heels,
we had to prop her up the whole way so
there was no way she was going to find home
without acquiring a major injury.

so we wandered.
and wandered about some more.

til finally she led us to this area quite far away
and to this random house and announced that
it was where she lived.
I wasn't sure whether to believe her cause
you know, people never make much sense
when they're intoxicated.

one of the guys took her key, prayed that it was right,
and turned it and miraculously, it worked!
it was such a relief knowing that she was safe home
and that at least one less person in Belfast
was stranded last night (:

i just felt this rush of something
and i know this sounds cheesy, but my heart swelled
with joy (a bit like the Grinch).

and somehow, that rush gave me more inner happiness
than anything this week (and it's been a GREAT week!)
and i'm definitely going to see into what i can
do more in this area (:

is it wrong to extract so much joy
from helping someone?

cause it would seem more hedonistic
than altruistic then right?

i don't know.
but if it makes one person go home safe
and another feel really great,
it's a pretty good night.

You give and take away.

2009-03-25T18:20:00.003Z

HAPPY NEWS (: (: (:

i got 400pounds in the mail today
for the purpose of my Nepal trip
and i am absolutely over the moon.
seriously, there were actual tears of joy (:

almost the perfect day,
but the Michael McIntyre secret gig tickets
were sold out before we got to them
so I guess that was kinda disappointing.

but in light of the good news,
I actually couldn't care less.
cause the money's not just happiness,
but it's also affirmation that this is what God wants!

so i am a very happy girl today.
(and that's also because of something else that happened,
but I'll keep that to myself!)

thank You.

2009-03-24T00:24:00.004Z

i know, posting two days consecutively!

you know, NI weather is seriously bipolar.
sunshiney>super windy>rainy
>hail (y?)> sunshiney.

all in the span of two hours.

seriously!!

first hand experience- dont wear a floaty summery skirt.
because when your coat is in the locker
and you're dissecting in Anatomy and the fire alarm
goes off, you have no choice but to stand out in the
unpredictable cold/hot/windy weather of Belfast
holding your skirt down cause it keeps flying up.

great ):

but yes, today is a good day.
i've been out so much lately that
i think over the last 8 weeks,
i've only have had one evening where
i was totally free and had nothing going on.

and tonight's going to be another one!
spend the whole day in the library
(which makes me feel ohsogood)
and now i've washed my hair,
getting ready to eat Adam's yummy dinner,
sitting in clean pajamas with no plans for the night
except to do more work, watch a sermon,
and SLEEP EARLY (:

what an awesome day.

rereading that- when did i start sounding like a granny?

i think prioritising is something i need to relearn.
last year i didn't have any friends so i did
loads of work and every night was a night in.
but this year, suddenly i found so many amazing friends
that i go to everything that's happening and hang out
maybe just a tiny bit too much.

i do love going out,
but i really really love my quiet time.

anyways, i've got some exciting news
that will be unveiled in a weeks time.
so watch this space (:

2009-03-23T00:18:00.003Z

so yes, going back to basics.
no more flouncy links and everything,
its all just words from now on.

i've decided that i have too much
floating about in my head that i have
to write it all down and anyway
it would be nice to read back when im 70 and wrinkly
about how immature i was and how i've
grown since them (fingers crossed!)

so yeah, since only the hardcore people read this now
(yes phyebeng, i saw the comment!)
i think its pretty much safe to be honest
and not have to worry about what people think.

so yay!

so hey, nice story for future sammie.
was at church today (im so glad that i found a good church btw,
the atmosphere is so inviting and people are lovely
and most importantly, good religious views)
and there were so many cute little kids running about.

and then there was this really small girl
decked in pink tights running about and suddenly tripped.
you know the moment where kids just fall
and they don't really know whether to
pick themselves up and get on or to scream
for their nearest parent?

well right as the tiny kid crumpled her face and
got ready to scream, this equally tiny boy
came over and picked her up, and then made sure
she was okay before turning to me and flashing
this GIANT smile and ran away.

how cute is that?

its nice to have a reminder now and again
of how intrinsically good children are.

i love children.
i cannot wait for the summer so that I can
hang out with kids again and laugh.
(:

so yeah that's a nice story to brighten your day.
i've been baking all night and i am ready for bed!

have a great week everyone.

2009-03-19T21:47:00.002Z

I think it's great that hardly anyone reads this anymore,
so I feel really free to indulge in any information.
well almost any, cause i know my daddy reads this.
haha!

anyways yeah i was walking along today
and somehow got an emo moment
and kinda reflected on this past year
and seriously, it's been amazing.

im really loving it here and i'm getting
more and more confident again and it's great.
but i miss home like crazy.

i hate it when people say
'oh, i couldn't do what you're doing-
i'll miss my family too much..'

well so do i!
i just push it away because it gets too hard.
it's better not to reminisce because
i really had it all back in Msia.
):

but im still so thankful for being here
and truly, it's been amazing.

anyway summer update: got my flights (almost!)
and trying to fundraise still,
thinking of good fundraising ideas but
i'm seriously not sure of what i can do just yet.
just praying that things work out and
something good happens (:

studyingwise- im pretty much dead.
i've done at least an hour's work everyday,
but i definitely still can do more.
and exits are coming soon so i really need
to get myself in motion and actually DO something!

i find it hard to save and scrimp for every penny.
i guess i've been so used to just spending carelessly
that it really gets hard to keep in mind
that i really need to save and i need to
be conscious of my spending!

i know it's been a jumble of thoughts
but this is really emotional diarrhoea for me
(for lack of a better term!)
and i really should get a journal.

til next time.

2009-03-07T21:14:00.002Z

wahey!

summer plans status: 75% finalised.

teaching in nepal.
REALLY exciting stuff!

so this is the stage where i start worrying
about finances and flights and practical
things like that- and boy am i swamped with this.

because the organisation im with only
arranges where im going to volunteer, the
logistical stuff is pretty much up to me
and it is stressful!

finding the cheapest yet comfortable option
is quite ridiculous- im most prolly flying to delhi first,
and then flying to kathmandu cause
the bus from delhi to kathmandu takes 5 days.
(i def would not be able to stick it!)

i need to raise money.
badly.

people never believe me when i tell them
i'm broke and that i need to save money like crazy
cause they assume that i can just make a
phone call to my rich daddy and receive
thousands of pounds in the bank instantly.

well it's true.

especially when my parents didn't exactly
approve of this option in the first place,
it is incredibly unfair for them to fund my
summer escapades.

and since most of my salary goes to rent+food,
i'm not sure where i can find this sum of money.

but hey, if God wants me there He will provide right?

so yeah i have to raise about 1200pounds right now.
that's a rough estimate but i guess it depends
mainly on the airflights, since i'll be living
there for free (i think?) and food is provided.

so its 1200 pounds and about 4 months to raise this.
so i have to raise 300 pounds/month.
this is scary!

i'm a bit too worried at the moment
for me to be excited but IT WILL HAPPEN.

just pray okay?

and if you have 1200 pounds lying around somewhere,
maybe we can work out an agreement-
free healthcare for life?
(only if i graduate!)

more missions updates to come!

2009-02-27T22:43:00.002Z

its been a GREAT week.

the homesickness has cured amazingly
and somehow the general mood has
greatly lifted and i don't know why,
but im still on a emotional high right now.
yay.

maybe i just needed a really good alone time
(:

but anyway yes formal is next week!
i am super excited.
what is it with the combination of
getting to dress up and eating posh meals
that makes every girl giddy with excitement?
(:

oh yeah and main focus on the past week-
i went iceskating for the first time with small group
(the things i would do for them!)
and fell about 8 times on my bottom
(i am told that i have vastly underestimated the number)
and i fell once really really badly on my ankle
and i really couldn't get up cause it hurt so badly
and the rinkguard (the equivalent of a lifeguard?)
came over and had to help me up.

i know, i somehow always manage to create
the most embarassing moments out of everything.
but anyway i thought it was okay and all
but the next day i couldn't walk up and down stairs
and my ankle is KILLING me.

thankfully its slightly better today,
but my whole body is aching instead from
tensing so much trying to iceskate!

i am aging really quickly.

anyway yes off to read the God delusion now.
i feel apprehensive cause i want to challenge myself
but somehow i am afraid that my faith might
somehow be compromised ):

ooh i got exciting summer updates,
nothings comfirmed yet but i think i can safely say,
Nepal here i come!!!!!
(:

2009-02-14T10:56:00.002Z

okay its been 6 days since i came back,
and i'm still feeling a little weird.

the first time I came here it was all
'ooh new place/people/everything!'
and a lot was pushed aside to concentrate
on the sudden newness of everything.

but now?
it's just a bit bleargh.

i love this place and everything,
but its not the same.
and not as good.

sometimes I wish that i never went home
in the first place, maybe it would be easier?

oh well.

so i have two full days in front of me
to catch up on whatever that i've missed in the
past two weeks (one week in Msia, one week too sleepy to listen)
so yay!

and it really doesn't help that
i'm pretty much hooked on this TVB serial
that i started watching back home
and found all the links online.
and the worst thing is, its 82 episodes long
and i'm only halfway through.

how did i survive so long without
a daily dose of chinese drama?!!
(btw, SO much better than stupid american ones- too much skin!)

i think i can make a wonderful housewife.
(:

okay, got lots of bones to learn up on.

oh btw i got two offers to work in schools
in India+Kathmandu in the summer.
things are finally happening!
(:

2009-02-03T15:00:00.002Z

okayokay.
here's an update for kimmy.

long story later when i get back,
but for now-
it's been great.

first week was kinda bleh but
it's been getting better and
college friends are AWESOME.
i dont know if i can find such clickable
friends again and its sad that half of us
are in UK and the other half, thousands of
miles away in Aussie.
)):

which i guess kinda makes meetingups
better cause we appreciate it more.
but oh well.

i love being with the family!
im scared that being away all the time,
i'll miss a huge chunk of the two younger ones'
growing up life, where i can be a great influence
and right now, im trying to make a
really strong imprint so we'll still be close
in future.

honestly?
it was really weird with church friends forawhile.
but thankfully, things are back to normal
and lots of time was spent in the house
playing cards and just hanging out (:

i'm eating more than ever and
still getting a bit annoyed at fat comments
but i need to remember-
i'll not get this again in at least a year!

but yeah, im looking forward to going back
but not too much.

5 more days.
):

2009-01-29T11:00:00.000Z

i'm back in sweaty hot malaysia.
((:

its good to be home.

2009-01-18T18:46:00.002Z

so I woke up with vivid dreams of America.
and somehow, thoughts of camp have been occupying
a lot of my mind lately.
i miss it so much,
and i really really want to go back.

definitely the happiest three months of my life.
the exuberant smiles on those kids,
the amazing people around me.
i don't think i'll experience such total
contentment and joy in life again in a long time.
(:

but i think God has something else in store.
(i'm still working out the fine details,
but it's going horribly slowly.)

**

well im narrowing my list of new years resolution
to one main one- to be content.
i think i need to learn to be content in every situation,
to find joy in stressful periods,
to remind myself that there is so much more than this.

heard a song in church today that
will *hopefully* be a little verse that
i keep in mind throughout all the
interesting twists and turns this year.

All is well, with my soul.
He is God, in control.
I know not all His plans,
but I know I'm in His hand.

JohnnyParks- All is well.

(:

awesome.

**

i feel really weird and listless now.
i guess that's why i'm resorting to blogging.
the suddenness of having nothing to do is
hitting me pretty hard and i feel awkward.

i guess i'm not cut out for a jobless life then.
i'm biding my time until tuesday for OSCEs
(where i play doctor for 45 very harrowing minutes)
and then that's exam over!

maybe the listlessness is due to adam's absence,
because i've been spending all my waking time
studying with him for the past week,
it feels like i'm almost codependent on him.
(adam is my housemate btw, not a boyfriend.)

but yay he comes back tonight
and i will have human contact again!

**

alrighty, i have to go watch some videos
on how to examine patients now.
excitingness!

2009-01-17T16:16:00.002Z

im *FREE*!

*jumps in joy*

well relatively anyway.
another one on Tuesday,
which requires minimal revision
so yeah, i am rocking it out by
catching up with TV shows.
(which i have abstained from since May)

i have mixed feelings about how the exams went
but all i can say is, that's a problem
for future sammie to deal with!
((:

and now,
back to ProjectRunway.

2009-01-10T21:54:00.002Z

two days left.

its weird when you have nothing to do
except revise for two weeks,
makes you go a bit crazy.

i haven't stepped out of the house in ages,
and the highlight of my day today
was changing into a fresh set of pajamas
(i have worn nothing else for awhile now)

i know, i'm disgusting.

but yeah im so pumped with facts and stuff
but there's a niggling worry still that
i don't know enough/ there's so much work left.

i don't know- i'm really mentally worn out.

people say this is the hardest semester of all,
the fail rate is the highest out of 5 years.

it helps that i really enjoy what i'm studying.
well except that random module of medical statistics.
maths and i don't really get on very well.

so hey, two more days!
i'm going to make it (:

2008-12-31T21:06:00.002Z

wow.

that's 2008 gone already.
and now it's time to sit and reflect on the past year,
which was pretty amazing for me.

i've grown in a lot of aspects
(sadly, physically is one of them!)
and i'm definitely a different person from a year ago.
and hopefully the learning process continues
into the new year and next year this time
i hope to be looking back on 2009
and being proud of the journey.

happy new year everyone!

2008-11-23T13:24:00.003Z

wow its been over a month.

its weird to think that early this year,
i would've blogged all the time.

so updates.

1. its Week 9 out of 12.
which means- exams are soon.
): and ahhhh work!
at least i love what i do.
did i tell you that i sawed a human head few weeks ago
to get the brain out and now we're
dissecting the cadaver's face?
fun times.

2. i am super drained.
seriously, i dont even know what i spend my time doing,
and sometimes i feel like i have seizures or something
because i wake up not remembering
what happened the day before ):

but yes- the drained feeling is due to
SO MANY THINGS HAPPENING!
i guess i shouldn't complain because
i am having the time of my life
but dark circles around my eyes
is definitely not a good look on me.

3. i am exactly 19 years and 11 months old.
yes, one more month and
i am officially old.
im sorry to anyone older,
but in my mind i just associate any age starting with a 2
and beyond with massive responsibility.

4. I MISS HOME.
homesickness has just been growing ever since
i came home from America.
blergh.

5. i am planning Summer 09 already!
dont know the details, but it's going to be
a combination of medical stuff+missions+ThirdWorld country.
im in the process of emailing anyone
who will take me and if all else fails,
i'm going back to America yay!

6. it is getting ridiculously cold.
which normally would mean 'yay excuse to buy MORE clothes!'
but for some inexplicable reason i am broke.
also, after doing a lot of social action this year
i am having lots of internal struggles.

on one hand, its 'how can I buy so many clothes
knowing that I have more than enough and
that money can go towards sponsoring a child
and also that these clothes are probably made
by children in wartorn countries under harsh
circumstances and no food?!'

on the other, its 'oooh look! so pretty!'

sigh.
im still holding on.
when i came back from America,
i made a pact that i wouldnt shop for a year.
yeah- that was broken three weeks later.
i have no self control i tell you.

but yeah, i am trying.

7. NATHAN IS BROKEN.
seriously- the laptop has seen better days and
now refuses to connect to the Internet.
partly due to the broke-ness and partly
because i am very lazy,
it's been three weeks and i haven't done anything
other than to complain incessantly.

sometimes i wish i still lived at home
because my dad will always fix things.
but yeah i don't know where to send it to
so i have to resort to checking emails through
Oliver (the iPod) and coming to the library
for anything other than that.

8. I'm currently reading Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne.
not as good as his first book, but still a good read.
read if you're political and interested in
being radical for Jesus.

so yeah, that's a pretty comprehensive update
on my life so far.

i have definitely typed this as if it was a personal letter
to cassie because i've indulged waaayy too much
information in this and when i click the
'publish post' button, i will regret revealing so much
of my craziness and insecurity to silent Internet readers.

rights i have just finished a 1000 word essay
and im off to finish a 4000 word reflective journal.
have a good weekend and i'll probably update in another
months' time with more news.
(:

2008-10-19T00:01:00.003+01:00

so ads, sayers and i went to a worship session
held by THE Tim Hughes today.
it was mind blowing.
really.

i had the most intense worship ever
and it was just so uplifting and inspiring
seeing the huge church packed with people
just worshiping our Creator.

and what's even more amazing is that
you know how at concerts n everything
with someone famous they always tend to
focus/glorify the artist?
well at tonight's event no one really cheered
for Tim Hughes when he walked in
and it was all glory for God instead.

beautiful.

but yeah, it was mindblowing when he
played 'here i am to worship'.
wow.

how awesome would heaven be
when everyone is just singing and praising God?

2008-10-02T20:30:00.002+01:00

so yay uni has finally started!

and it's been going really really good.
i love how there wasn't any introductory lectures
welcoming you to second year and saying
that this year is going to be tough and all that jazz,
but my first class on the Monday morning
was in the dissection room with our fresh new bodies.

i was really excited!
and yay now i can add another new thing
to my ListOfAwesomeThingsIveDone,
which is make the first incision on a new embalmed
cadaver from the chest to the pelvic region.

i was kinda scared that maybe suddenly
blood would explode onto my face but
im proud to say everything went exceedingly well.

but yeah living in a house is ever awesomer!
i actually have people to walk to class with already
and cooked dinners everynight.
yay (:

but yeah busy busy year.
other than classes 9-5 everyday
i'll be leading a small group Bible study
which, scarily, will be on Romans.
and i'm also doing food safety courses for work
so my life is really really busy right now.
i have to admit that i'm really overwhelmed
at the minute but it's in a good kinda way
you know? (:

so hey i've got house photos up on facebook.
have a great day everyone!

2008-09-18T21:45:00.004+01:00

work is sucking my soul away!

my 6 weeks of full time work
is almost coming to an end,
and i REALLY. CAN'T. WAIT.

i feel like i've faded into obscurity
in the past month and wake up
everyday to the same thing without
nothing much to look forward to.

if this is work,
i dont think i want to ever graduate.

anyway uni starts in ten days.
i can't believe i had 4 months off.
i really don't remember anything i learnt last year.
how ridiculous is that?
only 24 weeks of study in a year.

but yes, i'm pretty excited to be able to
read anatomy books again and
marvel at the amazing intricacies
of our magnificent human bodies.
i really love medicine.

but yeah, i've decided that this year
will be a really good year.

i WILL have friends this year!
(:

there's a whole lot of resolutions
in my mind which, surprisingly,
have nothing much to do with studying
but more with my social life
because i definitely don't want to be
that girl holed up in her room alone watching
endless hours of tv to pass time anymore.
nor do i want to be like the majority
of people here, going out and getting drunk.

but yes.
i am optimistic that this year will be
excellent and incredibly enriching.
i hope.

right.
updates WILL be increase in frequency soon
when things in my life pick up abit.
(:

2008-08-30T08:55:00.002+01:00

One Year Ago Today..

i was crying my heart out because
my UK visa got rejected.
then two weeks later i was on a plane
and here i am.

i can't believe in two weeks' time,
i would have been here for a year already.

how crazy is that?!

2008-08-26T12:21:00.002+01:00

so it's been a week on,
and still nothing that amazing's happened.

well at least i had some human interaction
last week when Jay and i *finally* went
to watch TheDarkKnight.

and wow (:

lovedlovedloved it.

i absolutely loved the twists and
it would've been the perfect movie if
Batman's voice wasn't so annoying all the time.

but still, that was a crazy good movie.

so in effort to lead a more interesting life
(because all i do is sleep and work now)
i am going to take up knitting.

(: we'll see how that goes huh?

anyway i woke up last week without hearing
in my right ear and it's been almost a week
and my ear is still malfunctioning.
i guess i should go see someone but..

1. it doesn't hurt.
2. i have partial hearing in the ear now.
3. if i lose it, i have another ear.
4. i hate doctors.

yup, all lousy excuses for my laziness (:

so hey i've been back 2 weeks and i'm
already making plans for further travel already.

i am missing home terribly lately
and my first/second trip will DEFINITELY
be one to home because for real,
there is only so much time one can take
without being able to eat ngau hor okay.
(or nasi lemak. or cheecheongfun. or charkueyteow.
you get the drift.)

but i have exciting plans in the air
and i really really want to go visit some people.

oh yeah.
i gave up watching TV.
i know, far cry from the Sammie that
watched 14 shows a week last year.
but i realised that half the shows i watch
are full of crap and really,
i would like to think i have better things to do.
(which i really don't right now, hence the new hobby.)

so i've ordered like 10 books off Amazon
and i'm reading Screwtape Letters now
by CSLewis (did you know he's from belfast?)
and WOW, it's an amazing book.

4 and 1/2 weeks to class.
come on already!

2008-08-18T08:40:00.002+01:00

So hello.

yup, haven't been blogging for the longest time.
maybe its because i've taken up
journalling instead or because right now,
my life isn't exactly exciting.

i wake up, go to work, come home, sleep.
that's about it.

yup, a far cry from life in the US.

its weird, cause in the US
im ALWAYS surrounded by people
and you never EVER are alone
but since my housemates hvn't moved in yet
im alone again all the time.

but yeah, i think i'm handling it pretty well.
or i hope.

something exciting better happen soon.

2008-08-13T20:00:00.001+01:00

my past three months can be summed up
by the six photo albums that i just uploaded
on Facebook.

and that's a QUARTER of
the photos i have.

craziness.

go look and comment!

2008-08-12T19:42:00.000+01:00

im back in Belfast.

and Internetless.

so all other updates/photouploadings
when i get it yes?

i am dang tired.

goodnight and goodbye.

2008-07-31T01:11:00.002+01:00

so i guess its time to update,

so after my plans got canceled,
i went to Neebish Island for a week
and did ABSOLUTELY nothing.
and i mean, seriously NOTHING.

and im back at camp working
in the kitchen this week
(which is crazy exciting!)

and because camp is so addictive,
im trying to push my flights back another week.

yes yes i know,
it sounds like i can't let go
but seriously this is THE most fun
i've had for a really really long time.

i know i say this all the time,
but i've really changed from camp.
i guess i've just been very materialistic
for the past few years and camp
has DEFINITELY changed that.

i don't need 60 t-shirts!
i don't need to have my hair straightened
every year or have 700 dollar haircuts.
i don't need a new cellphone every so often.

and my parents were right.
whenever we have arguments
when i was younger i remember
them saying :'i dont think this is how a Christian acts..'

and yeah, they were absolutely right.

living with these people in camp is
like holding a mirror up to myself
and i really don't like what i see.

i am waaay too selfish
and although it may not show outwardly,
stuff that is going through my mind
is MILES away from being like Christ.

how am i supposed to be a
light of the world/ambassador of Christ
if i continue to act/think the way i do?

last week, during all the airport drama,
i really felt like i was abandoning everything
and following God like the disciples.
have you ever felt that way?

like for once, just giving EVERYTHING up
and just following blindly into whatever
that comes your way, knowing that
somehow God will provide?

yeah it was weird for me too.

but you know what?

it's time to change.
time for me to open my eyes.

(:

2008-07-21T01:42:00.002+01:00

so i was supposed to leave camp yesterday.

and guess what?
due to MORE airport drama that happened,
ive decided to forgo my trip
and stay at camp instead, which
is what i really really want to do anyway.

long story short,
one flight got cancelled,
my luggage is lost,
i missed another flight,
and the last one got delayed 3 times.

crazy or what?
but somehow i felt really peaceful throughout
the whole thing, and not worried about
anything at all.
isnt that weird?

so now i have no clothes whatsoever and
no plans at all and im absolutely broke.
huh.

at least im back at camp (:

love you guys.

2008-06-25T15:50:00.002+01:00

wow.
i am blown away.

seriously, i really think that this is
the best decision i've ever made in my life.

so far, i've worked with abused kids,
kids with parents that hit each other,
adopted/fostered kids, and this week
i have an autistic kid in my cabin,
and i've learnt so much from them.

i've just grown so much in the past month
and i really hope that this stays
with me when i go back
(which i dread everyday).

you know how parents always go:
'you don't know how lucky you are!'
and then we roll our eyes?

well yeah i kinda realise how true that is now.
the abuse some of my girls have
went through, it just makes me sad.
it's weird how parents can actually
do things to their own kids.
):

but anyway i'm having a good time
and i'm really growing a lot here.
(yes physically too!)

tonight's medieval night.
i can't wait!

love you guys (:

2008-06-20T18:58:00.002+01:00

so i passed all my exams.

not as well as i wanted
but good enough to be forgotten
20 mins after so its not bothering
me while im here (:

so hello,

i'm officially a second year med student!

2008-06-13T18:16:00.002+01:00

another update (:
i had an amazing day yesterday.

i fell out of a tree!
yeah i decided that i wanted to climb
a tree before i turn 20 and being me,
i fell out of it and landed on my back.

also, i decided that it would be fun
to roll down a hill like in the movies
so i did that and forgot that i have grass allergies
so right now, im covered with hives.

ouch.

oh and yesterday,
something like the movies happened!
there was ANOTHER tornado watch
and we had to move all the kids in the
middle of the night to the basement
for safety while thunderstorms were
raging everywhere.

it was pretty cool, i always wanted something
like this to happen you know?
but we were lucky, the town 20 mins away
got hit really badly and we escaped
without anything being destroyed.
very cool.

haaave fun everyone!

2008-06-08T21:38:00.003+01:00

i just had the scariest wake up call EVER.

i was napping and this girl was
shaking me, shouting:
'SAM you have to wake up NOW,
there's been a tornado warning!'

so we had to run to the main building
for cover and wait for the storm to be over.

how cool is that?

2008-06-04T18:07:00.002+01:00

oh hey!

running in for a quick post before
i have to face the masses of kids.

it's been amazing,
the thing is that i can tell why
they always say US people are so big.

US food is incredibly sugary!
arrrgh.

other than that,
i've been enjoying myself LOADS.

i've been doing rock climbing/archery/
canoeing my arms out etc.

soon i'll get to shoot a real gun and
also ride horses!

i am pretty excited.

camp starts properly next week
so let's hope no one boobytraps me
like in Parent Trap! (:

see yaaa!

2008-06-01T21:29:00.002+01:00

i am here (:

FINALLY.

and you know what?

you can tell it's going to me a good summer
when on the first day i've helped build a house
and peed in the woods 4 times.

i went real camping and liked it!
(:

don't think i can update anytime soon
so take care and see youuuu!

2008-05-30T12:40:00.002+01:00

Hello From New York!

horrible flight,
delayed and i had to sit next to this
woman who kept complaining to me and
kept harassing the flight staff
and waking me up from sleep ):

but all that matters is that im here now!

i have another 2 flights to go before reaching
Michigan and it's gonna be another long
day of travel for me.

four flights in two days,
i feel like a jetsetter already!

by the way, im staying in Columbia Uni halls
and the rooms are so run down.
makes me appreciate Elms a lot more,
but seriously, the campus is FREAKING huge
and it is really THE most beautiful campus
i've ever ever seen.

there are huge roman pillars everywhere
and the brick lanes are all lines with huge trees.
i'd LOVE to study here.

but anyway, i gotta go and not sure
when i'll get to blog/email again
so take care and i'll see ya!
(:

*btw i thought i packed quite heavy but
you should see some of these girls
with their 30 kg wheelie bags
and there are some wearing highheeled boots.
hello, you're going to CAMP.

2008-05-28T13:35:00.002+01:00

I AM THE STUPIDEST PERSON ALIVE!

i just finished my OSCEs,
and guess what?!!

i FORGOT to wear gloves
while during the urine analysis.
who does that?!!

bleargh!

and then also i finished my chest
examination and was standing there
waiting for the next station then i remembered
'oh freaking crap i forgot heaves and thrills!'

so i ran back and asked the guy to
please take his shirt off again
cause i forgot something.

you can tell i'm going to be a GREAT doctor.

2008-05-28T09:12:00.002+01:00

So I'm Leaving Tomorrow.

i'll have very limited access to the Internet
so i dont think i'll be able to blog much
bt i'll be emailing as much as i can?

i'm not that excited anymore
but oh well, we'll see what happens.

looking forward to a whole day of
flights and airports tomorrow.
(i really am!)

let's hope i get back in one piece
with loads of stories/photos yeah?

see youu in 10 weeks (:

2008-05-25T15:36:00.003+01:00

Maybe It Is Possible To Have Too Many Clothes?

so i've moved house!

i am no longer living in my little pokey room
in halls and i'm now living in a proper house!

ALSO, i have a double bed (:
the only thing is, my comp can't connect
to the wireless network so i'm at the library now ):

well, another reason for me to buy my Mac!

anyway, moving was really crap.
somehow, i arrived in the UK with one giant bag
and now, i need one large luggage bag,
one 65L backpack, and six giant trashbags
and another two large boxes for my stuff.

how did i manage to accumulate so much?!!

half of my stuff, we had to transfer stuff twice.

half of my clothes on the bed.
the pile looks deceptively small here,
but trust me i almost died lugging
it up and down the stupid stairs.

aaanyway three more days til i leave.

why do i not feel excited at all?

2008-05-20T20:27:00.002+01:00

tomorrow's my biggest paper.

i can't study anymore, really.
i just can't look at another word.

you know what i really want now?

my favoritestest thing on Earth,
peanut and lotus root soup.

i kept tasting it in my mouth today.

and some super thick slices of smoked salmon.

and those kauchis and lobakkos from the pasar.

and the brown eggs that come with duck.

and that super moreish ngauhor at Jln Imbi.

summore my fridge got no more food!
): ): ):

2008-05-18T16:15:00.001+01:00

So It's Confirmed!

after months of endless planning and paranoia,
i've got my visa and all my flights are booked!

so this is what i'm doing this summer.

yeah i'm not coming back.

i *did* book a one way flight to the UK after all.

so anyway i decided to do something really different
cause i really didn't want to go home
and sit there doing nothing for 4 whole months.
it's nice and all, but seriously what am i going to do?

and when i graduate i'm never going to
get holidays and breaks all that much
so i'm determined to do it all while i can.

in ten days' time, i'll be flying to the US alone
to work in a summer camp as a camp counselor
for eight whole weeks (:

yeah i really *do* miss YF camps that much!
i'll be working in Michigan and
to me, the best bit is that it's a Christian camp.

then after that, i'll be doing a backpacking/camping
trip with some people whom i've never met before
from New York to Miami for two weeks.
(see map below!)

yup, i'm going alone and i don't know who else is going.
but hey, isn't that the exciting bit?
and also, i came to UK alone so i dont think
US is going to be a far stretch.

and i think another great thing about this trip
is knowing that all the expenses are selfraised.
all that freaking hard work for the past three months
(and a few more after the trip) will be all
for the trip of a lifetime (:
so i won't feel guilty spending my parents' money.

anyway that's in ten days and before i go,
i still have to study for physiology/medical stats/
individual in society/ epidemiology/ OSCEs,
take two more papers for the exams,
move all my crap from my tiny room in halls
to my NEW house (yay!) but that's going to
be super hard work cause somehow i've bought
so much crap since i've been here,
and then buy all the things i need for US,
AND lastly pack for the US.

in ten days!!

i am *SO* excited!!!
(:
(:
(:

2008-05-15T17:35:00.003+01:00

Woohoo!

no more Gray's Anatomy for
the next four months! (:

and i tell you, after reading that book
everyday for the past week,
i really can't think of anything better.

anatomy was okay today,
i really love how the Brits structure their exams.

it always seems like it's some kinda
obstacle course or something because the
exams are always in a few stations
and you are shuffled from one stage to another
in these mysterious staircases and waiting rooms.

and today's one was actually quite fun.
there were so many specimens around
the room an everytime the bell rang,
everyone moved one step to the right.

it really was quite funny.
and a few times i would forget
that there were two questions on the table
and remember it just before the bell rang
so i hastily scribbled something relevant
to the structure and pray i was right.

i've never seen so many hearts in a row.
it became really hard to orientate myself
after awhile because they all look the same!

but anyway i'm glad that's over
and it's another 6 days to the next ):

2008-05-13T18:59:00.002+01:00

OMG KILL ME MAN.

seriously wei all this studying
is really getting to me.

went to some anatomy revision class today
where they had all these plastic structures
and i realised how stupid i am.

thought i was on pretty good standing
until i saw all the muscles that i still
need to know and seriously,
there are names for EVERYTHING.

some people are really too free one.
like there are these few holes on your bones hor,
when you look at it from the front one name,
look from the back a different name one!

grrrrrrrrrrr.
the only good thing is that it's
something i actually enjoy studying,
not like physics or what.

just that there is SO much of it!

*blood curdling scream*

2008-05-08T01:19:00.002+01:00

Okay.

time to get serious.

there's going to be a self-imposed ban
on Everything Fun and Time Wasting
for at least two weeks from today.

my anatomy exam is in a weeks' time
and i still have SO many names of the
arteries and veins to remember!!
summore hor, they have the most
ridiculously long names EVER.

it is *so* difficult to study when
everyone is frolicking in the grass outside,
playing football, lying on the gardens
talking and laughing while i look on
from my sad little window knowing
that i still have to memorise names
of each small nick of a particular bone.

and i can never concentrate cause
it's so bloody hot in my room!
>.<

time to turn Nathan (the laptop) off.
):

2008-05-06T14:22:00.003+01:00

it is so bloody panas.

it's 18 degrees outside and i feel
like i'm walking around at 2pm back home.

i'm going to melt ):

2008-05-03T09:16:00.002+01:00

This Is A Sign From God.

just my luck.
it's a three day weekend,
EVERYTHING is closed and no one's working..

AND ALL THE ELECTRICAL OUTLETS
IN MY ROOM HAVE DECIDED TO
TAKE A HOLIDAY TOO!!!

i'm going hysterical.

i have no internet.
!!!!

and hor, i have no one to talk to also
cause EVERYONE went back home cause
of the three day weekend!!!

i guess in a way i should be thankful
cause i will be able to study properly.

but still!!
i have to resort running to the
library to use the stupid computer now.

i couldn't sleep last night cause
i couldn't hear any of my computer's noises.
it was eerily quiet ):

2008-05-01T20:38:00.003+01:00

ONE

MORE

WEEK.

then First Year is over.

come on come on come on!

2008-04-27T18:23:00.007+01:00

So Guess What I Did On My Weekend.

i flew to liverpool and travelled up to manchester
to meet TheEvilSpawn...

trying on fedoras in H&M.

and by some freak coincidence,
Gabe+Wens were staying over in
Andrew+HuiJeen's house as well,
so it was like a mini Gasing get together.

we went on the Wheel of Manchester..

so i flew bright and early to liverpool
and then took a bus to manchester
because there was no place to stay.

huijeen+phyebeng

i never knew manchester was so huge!
seriously, the shopping is really good
but i only brought one bag so
i couldn't buy anything ): ): ):

playing Cranium at night.
THE GIRLS WON! woohoo!

but the trip was the perfect antidote
to my recent foul mood.
i wasn't really looking forward to it
because of all the mounting work
but it was really really nice catching up and all.

in the European Capital of Culture'08.
(of all places, liverpool?!!)

we were all chatting away when the bad news
came from home that he passed away.

it was very upsetting because in church,
he's always stop to talk to me and
ask me how i am and everything.
it's just surreal and i know it sounds cliche,
but life is really incredibly short.

i hope everyone back home is okay.

evilspawn outside the official Liverpool FC store.
look at that HUGE picture of Alonso!
*screams*

the next day, we left really early
to Liverpool to explore and sightsee.
but we kinda shopped the whole morning instead.

liverpool is really really proud of
their two most famous exports,
the Beatles and Liverpool FC.
their posters/pictures are *everywhere*!

john lennon.

more photos on Facebook soon.

urgh i think i had one of the worst flights ever.
the WHOLE plane was filled with these
semi drunk men shouting and swearing
all over the place demanding for the food trolley,
laughing and joking the WHOLE time.

and i was really surrounded by them
which really scared me so i pretended
to sleep so that no one would talk to me.

anyway people back home,
go to church cause phyebeng has gifts!
(:

2008-04-24T01:14:00.002+01:00

thank God for today.

yeah, things are finally looking up today.

i got a balloon dog, released all that
pent up frustration with a sold halfhour
of intense Laser Quest with small group,
ate icecream outside in the summer evening,
and is making great progress on TheBigThing.
aaaaand i also get to sleep in tomorrow!

so yeah, one perfect day can balance it all.

2008-04-22T04:20:00.002+01:00

some dumbass came in drunk to the kitchen
next door and proceeded to explode their
oven and burner and stuff.

and then the whole stupid fire alarm
went off at 3.30 am and because
it was our floor (even though diff kitchens)
we were made to stand outside in the cold
for more than an hour while the idiot
ran away somewhere else with his friends.

and since no one is admitting it
we're ALL being charged for it.
few hundred quid i think.
crap la seriously.

now i can't sleep and i have
classed from 9-5 fully tomorrow.
great.

i hate people!

2008-04-21T19:10:00.002+01:00

something's just not right,
but i don't know what it is.

2008-04-19T19:12:00.003+01:00

Not Feeling Very Good.

you know, i know i look stupid
and like i have an IQ of near zero
but i know some basic math here okay.

i don't know what's with people today.
honestly.

i guess what really tipped me over
the breaking point was when this eight
year old kept counting her money
and insisting that i shortchanged her.
seriously right, ohmyycow.

some more come and talk down to me
(obviously it's not meant literally)
like i'm a derelict and demanding that
i recall the receipt la, count the money again etc.

you can guess who was right.

yeah, the person who was TEN YEARS older.
(ugh, i can't believe i'm old enough
to say that horrible phrase.)

honestly.
i'm in such a people hating mood now.

yeah right after that i totally lost it.

i'm not very clever,
but i think i can count money okay.

>:(

2008-04-15T17:02:00.003+01:00

hey,

does anyone know if i can put
raw eggs into the kettle to make
hard-boiled eggs?

i mean, you technically can right?
cause that's the same way
you boil hardboiled eggs normally anyway.

and i'm kinda lazy to wait for the water
to boil the normal stove way,
it takes *forever*!

tell me asap cause i really want some eggs.

pleaseandthankyou!

2008-04-10T20:49:00.003+01:00

See How Bright We Shine.

honestly?

i'm stuck in this so deep that
i'm losing my head right about...

.... now.

i have so much to do/think/remember
at the moment and the only thing
that can help me now is AntiSleepingPills.

i'm stressed just *thinking* about it.

i need to movehouse/finish five assignments/
apply for visa/get air tickets/STUDY/
finalise summer plans/packpackpack/
buy summer things/memorise lectures/
WORK to get enough money for summer etc.

and somehow in the midst of it all,
i sit and realise..

how amazingly lucky i am.

then of course, i snap back
and scream at myself under my breath
for wasting so much time daydreaming.

):